Do not let the new girl give tours under any circumstances. Today I had the opportunity to show some visiting librarians the ropes, nuts and bolts of the Senate Library, and ended up taking them on a whirlwind tour of the hidden cafeterias, the magical hallway of abandoned furniture and busted tvs and the vending machine I think is haunted. Eventually we broke into the Caucus Room (which was randomly full of empty pizza boxes?) and took some zany photos at the podium. I showed them the atrium of the Hart Building, which has an amazing Calder sculpture, but to me is more notable for the way it tends to pop up in my creepy Bob Woodward fantasies. Well, more accurately my creepy Robert Redford fantasies.
Which is information I felt was good to share amongst my professional peers. Anyway, it felt good talking about my feelings for Redford so it’s “blog worthy”, right? I think that’s how these things are supposed to work. You have a feeling, you better twitter that s*** pronto no matter how personal, so here we are.
Some of you nerds might realize that the Hart building didn’t open until 1982, and thus would not have had any place in All The President’s Men but guess what? Shut up. It’s not called a fantasy for nothing. Now, you should know that in my dream world I am faithful to my current relationship, even though it’s set in 1972, Eric is a toddler and I’m not born yet. Doesn’t matter, I can still rock a Halston. The point is, Redford and I are attracted to each other, but mainly he just needs my help exposing corruption. If we almost make out, it’s for AMERICA, okay?
Anyway, it was my first real tour and I think it well in spite of the fact that I’m clearly bat s*** crazy.