oscars

Too complicated to keep trying to blog via phone. Gonna have to catch up tomorrow (UPDATE: Tomorrow being Tuesday. I forgot my notes and actually need to clear a pile of work off my desk before Congress shows up and decides whether or not I get paid, so it’s in my best interest, not to mention AMERICA’S, for me to be busy) . Enjoy the show. PS my favorites tonight were Jennifer Hudson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mila Kunis and Cate Blanchett.

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Hathaway and Franco look good, but are already getting on nerves. The “Brown Duck” dance she did in the best picture montage just reinforced my impression of her as a flailing toothy nuisance.

Meanwhile, Oscar night is always full of gossipy revelations c/o fellow viewers, in this case Mary Adams and Alfonso. Jesse Eisenberg had a former tween star sister who was in a coke commercial? Aaron Sorkin was a crackhead who managed to get better? He just asked his daughter in his acceptance speech if he could get some respect from her Guinea pig. He’s got mine for sure.

Whoever accepted the award for art direction  (Alice in Wonderland) feigned surprise, “guess I should have lost those twenty pounds!” yet oddly remembered to bring a tiny Burtonesque mad hat for the statue. ?

Kirk Douglas is a card. It’s hard not to wince when they trot out some of these older actors for awards shows. I’d like to think that they never get old- in my mind, Paul Newman is in his forties on a ranch somewhere and will be forever. When the normal experience of aging  is compounded by some pretty serious physical setback like a stroke, it hurts even more. But Kirk was pretty great! Wow. Speech seems to require a great deal of him, so I’m glad he made the effort and brought his crazy old man A-game. It was a refreshing change from Betty White, who while much beloved to me personally, is overplayed at this point.

Too bad Melisso Leo was annoying as f***. Maybe the reason she’s not getting roles isn’t sexism and agism. Maybe she’s just an a-hole. An a-hole with frosted nail polish no less. My bitterness might have been compounded by the fact that she was Eric’s pick (we’re in a contest). We both got the animated short right, so I’m down by one. Dinner is on the line so hopefully this will turn around. UPDATE: It didn’t.

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Hmmm. As Alfonso pointed out, this dress could be seen at any given rose ceremony on The Bachelor. Otherwise, Reese looks good if you don’t examine the mismatched fall too closely. I love fake hair though.

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White dinner jackets are only slimming if worn backwards, with a fedora. We’re pretty sure Javier wasn’t wearing an undershirt in keeping with l’esprit de Celine, which was okay with us. In other news, why was Aaron Sorkin given the hush up music while Melissa Leo was allowed to pontificate about nothing for ages?

To be continued, but teasers: night of a thousand bad earrings, Annette Benning displaying the spider web with which she ensnared Beatty (well played, AB), and “if I blew my hair out for this, Scarlett should too.” (hot, but sloppy ScarJo…)

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